They Say I Say 8

 

2. It is very important for schools to reopen for the mental health and wellbeing of students. However, schools should determine based on the circumstances in their communities whether or not it is the safest choice to reopen schools, have a hybrid model, or be fully virtual. It is crucial that every school implements safety measures in order to slow the spread of COVID-19 and keep students safe. Some factors that schools should acknowledge are, “levels of community transmission and their capacity to implement appropriate mitigation measures in schools” (CDC). However, it is also important to acknowledge the effect on the mental health of students if they continue to be isolated at home, away from their peers. In school, students are able to talk to their peers and be around teachers, counselors, and people that make them feel safe. The CDC says,  “an environment where students feel safe and connected, such as a school, is associated with lower levels of depression, thoughts about suicide, social anxiety, and sexual activity, as well as higher levels of self-esteem and more adaptive use of free time.” Not to mention that, when students are in school, they have counselors available to them to talk about any problems they may have. When students are home, they don’t have this option. Also, many students rely on schools to get meals each day. The longer schools stay closed, the harder it is for students to get the nutrients they need to perform well. It is important to open schools, but not without being safe.

Underline: Point Holders

Highlighted: Transitions

Bold: Key Phrases

In this passage of my writing, I heavily relied on transition words, not using any point holders such as this, that, etc. I also seemed to use a lot of the same transition words over and over again, including, however, also, not to mention that, when, also, and but. The passage is not hard to understand due to all of my transition words tying the sentences together, however, without point holders, some sentences seem kind of redundant. I tend to repeat words like 'school' or 'community' over and over again. I feel that my writing would be better if I used more point holders so my writing sounds more concise. When it comes to key phrases/words, I feel that I did a good job at portraying some key phrases such as 'school, mental health, CDC, etc.' in order to show my audience what I am arguing.